Sorry, Friends!

Hello All,

I have been extremely negligent on posting recently. Being back at school has been a bit more difficult this year, with more intensive courses and more Packer fans bothering me. My Caretaker has been doing well, and is going to be in a University production tomorrow! She's incredibly excited and can't wait to show everyone the final product.

I have been ill after a few harder falls at the start of the term. I dislocated my arm and had a severe head injury, but I have come to a full recovery and hope to be back in business soon.

Lively,

Clarence

Mississippi River Museum

Hello All,

This past Friday my Caretaker and I went to the Mississippi River Museum in Dubuque with Delaney. She is such a wonderful girl. Earlier this summer we went to the Body Worlds exhibit in Des Moines, which was really interesting. This time it was her choice of museum. The museum was great, with lots of river information and cool figures, but the coolest part was the aquarium. I met a few giant Catfish. I was glad to be on the other side of the glass, because they both looked pretty hungry!

Because Dubuque is at the intersection of Iowa, Illinois and Wisconsin, the three of us decided to spontaneously leave the state. There is a loop that allows you to hit the three states in 10 minutes! It was really fun to do, mostly because of the ease and how quickly it happened. No sooner had we realized we crossed a state line we crossed another!

Ambling,

Clarence

Sand in the City

Hello All,

Yesterday my Caretaker and I headed to downtown Iowa City to check out Sand in the City, and the music of the incredible FunkDaddies. Both were wonderful! I got to listen to some funky tracks right behind the sound booth. Rachel was mixing the sound, and she did such a marvelous job. She even let me borrow her headphones for a bit!

Sand in the City has multiple competing sand structures, but also, of course, giant sand piles for the kiddies to play in. I made friends with quite a few youngsters, and they thought it was very fun to bury me in the sand. Luckily my Caretaker saved me from suffocation a few times!

Sandily,

Clarence

Ready, Rolf?

Hello All,

It has been a while since I've talked to you, but it sure doesn't seem like it! Summer has been flying by, and it is already August. My caretaker is in a show with the wonderful Combined Efforts Theatre Company in Iowa City, a company that puts on shows for actors with and without "special needs." It has been a great experience.

It has made me appreciate that my height is one of my only disadvantages, and appreciate how great I have it in my own mind. It has also helped me get excited about things that I haven't gotten excited about before in theatre. When someone remembers their line, when the audience can hear them, when they get the joke perfectly. Seeing how incredibly happy they get when they see all their family and friends supporting them and their ability to perform as they want to is a completely incredible feeling, and reminds me of why I love the theatre so much.

For those who are unable to see the show, the steer in the above picture belongs to my caretaker's character, Stacy. His name is Rolf and he is the Special Reserve Grand Champion steer at the county fair.

Fair-ly,

Clarence

I Spy

Hello All,

This summer just keeps flying by. My caretaker and I have finally had some down time to dink around and do almost nothing, and I already made a friend from it! This little frog was sitting in the creek behind the house while we were sitting back there.

Last weekend we visited Omaha, Nebraska for a cousin's wedding, it was marvelous. Lots of fun relatives and dancing. Our family also visited Kansas University in Lawrence, Kansas. It confused me immensely because I am so used to hearing Lawrence University. Whenever a tour guide mentioned how great Lawrence was I wholeheartedly agreed with them.

Sneakily,

Clarence and the Frog

The Final Harry Potter

Hello All,

As you all should know, the final saga of the epic Harry Potter series came out this past Friday. Myself, my caretaker and a dear friend of hers went to the midnight premiere. She went as the evil Bellatrix Lestrange, he as Kingsley Shakelbolt and I went as one of the Weasley's Gnomes from earlier in the series. Although they were never featured in the movies, they caused Harry and Ron great anguish.

This summer has been full of little adventures, like the premiere. Last night I spent some time baking ninja cookies and decorating them with a bit more frosting than necessary, but no one seemed to mind that much. My caretaker and I are getting ready to head back to school next month. Although it seems so far away, we are sure it will sneak up on us very quickly.

Magically,

Clarence

Happy 4th!

Hello All,

I had a wonderful time yesterday watching the fireworks display in Coralville, Iowa with my Caretaker, and her friends and family in their usual spot. I know a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll let you see some of the fireworks for yourself.

Blazingly,

Clarence

In the Doghouse

Hello All,

Summer just keeps getting crazier. My Caretaker's sister is in Ecuador, and my Caretaker fled off to Chicago last wedding for a wonderful wedding of her cousin. My Caretaker's mother hurt her back, but she's doing much better. I even had to chase a few frolicking bunnies away from our flowers a few days ago.

I've been spending plenty of time with my good pal, Guido. We are both at home all day while everyone is off working and making money over the break. We've gotten to watch a few great movies, Gnomeo and Juliet being my favorite. It both stayed true to gnome traditions and a good Shakespearean plot.

Lackadaisically,

Clarence

It's a Bit Corny..

Hello All,

I am terribly sorry for my extended absence from the blog, but my Caretaker and I have been terribly busy here at home. Unpacking is almost worse than studying, especially because we have no final date for completion. We have been home for almost two weeks and it is still difficult to walk around the room without climbing a mountain of things (or stumbling, if you are of average human height.)

It has been wonderful to be back in Iowa. We got to eat corn multiple times already (this particularly thrilled my Caretaker, of course) and we are loving the better weather here as well. We've gotten to reconnect with old chums, and I even get to spend time back at college. Fortunately for us we get to see Anna this weekend in her hometown. It will be great to see a good college bud.

...but I'm happy to be home

Clarence

One Step Closer

Hello All,

I am deeply sorry for my lack of communication recently. My schedule has been as full as ever. Finals start today, and my Caretaker and I have been studying hard. Yesterday was beautiful outside, so we got a little slice of paradise while still stuck here in Wisconsin.

I hope all of the graduates enjoyed their parties, we are sad we missed such great food and company, but our time here has been well spent. I realized this term that if I start studying before the night before a test studying is not only easier, but I feel as though it is a bit more enjoyable as well.

Homeward Bound,

Clarence

Webcast Wonderland

Hello All,

As you may already know (or don't) the State track meet for Iowa is happening now through Saturday. Unfortunately, my heavy course load renders me incapable of going to Des Moines myself, but I was able to watch my Caretaker's sister (and some of her counterparts) race in today's events online! It was wonderful to see them all the way in Wisconsin. Molly's 4x800 team got 2nd, with wonderful time splits for each. We are looking forward to the wonders of the rest of the runners throughout the weekend.

My classes are getting a bit better, and a bit worse at the same time, as finals are approaching fast. My Caretaker had her scene work assignment due today, and she said it went very well. She also has monologues for the final, but she has until the 31st for that. We are all getting a bit anxious for the end of the year, while at the same time dreading finals.

Quickly,

Clarence

Dunk Tastic

Hello All,

Yes, I am standing on the seat pad of a dunk tank. I know you may think it is a beautiful day for a dunking, but let me assure you, it was not. The fifty degree and windy climate was not ideal to be submerged into a large tank of cold water, but my caretaker gave it a shot. She said it was wonderfully fun, even with the freezing water. The best part is not knowing when you are going to get dropped in. It's incredibly suspenseful!

Gallantly,

Clarence

This post was created in loving memory of Delores Mullinnix. May her incredible strength be an inspiration for all of us.

Happy Mother's Day

Hello All,

I hope this Mother's day finds you all golden. I myself am laying out in the sunshine in my new favorite garden. The daffodils in front of Colman are magnificent right now, and there's a cute statue nearby that is beginning to warm up to me. My caretaker is studying for a chemistry exam tomorrow, even though I keep telling her to come check out the garden scene with me.

My caretaker and I would like to extend all the love in our hearts to our families. We give our undying hope and strength to those who need it most right now. We can only pray that everyone realizes how loved and appreciated they are, not only on Mother's day, but every day of their lives.

Lovingly,

Clarence

Getting Crazy

Hello All,

The weather is finally deciding to be a bit more consistently spring-like. Even though it is May, we had a few days of cold before it has finally gotten nice outside. The flowers are blooming and it is wonderful to galavant around town. Everyone takes full advantage and stays outside as much as they can on the nice days we have.

It's 7th week, and most Lawrentians are getting a bit crazy. Studies are ramping up for all classes and projects and papers are getting piled on. Everyone is getting a bit frazzled (as shown from my mural friend on 4th floor Colman), but we are all getting through it. Its also frusterating to hear everyone else getting out of school while we are still pounding the pavement.

Waiting patiently,

Clarence

Old Friends

Hello All,

Reading Period was very refreshing for everyone here at Lawrence. My Caretaker and I got the chance to go to my hometown- Chicago! We got to meet lots of wonderful people in the Arts business and see all kinds of cool theaters and museums. We got to see the Field Museum and say hello to my old buddy, Sue. She's changed a lot since I saw her last, back when Gnomes and Dinosaurs ruled the world.

My Caretaker was amazed by all of the different careers she discovered in Chicago and got to see the underbellies of the Museum of Contemporary art, Harris Theater and Steppenwolf Theater. Both of which were very fun and informative. She made a few new friends and got to spend time with a completely new, and fun, group of people.

Anciently,

Clarence

Hoppy Easter

Hello All,

I know I just had a post, but this weekend has been so exciting! The Easter holiday is upon us and myself and some friends got to dye eggs last night. They all turned out beautifully. Dyno, Teddy, Rodney and I are excited to eat hard boiled eggs for the next two years straight.

My Caretaker's family was here, and all of my Lawrence friends got to meet Molly. Its great that they will actually know who I'm talking about when I brag about knowing such a fast runner. She is off to the Drake Relays in Des Moines, IA next weekend, where she will be running in four events. (which is the uppermost limit to the events you can run at the meet). I can't wait to hear from all of my friends on the West Track team.

Hoppily,

Clarence

Roller Disco Party!

Hello All,

Last night was the most fun I have had in decades. The BroCo inhabitants and I went to a roller rink and had a rockin' time. We got to skate around and play limbo and the dice game and dance and have a jolly great time. Lots of people dressed up in Retro clothes. Unfortunately I forgot my throwback jersey, but everyone seemed to forgive me, as I won limbo. A few people got close to me, but my height actually helped me in one event!

Everyone is really starting to bond here in BroCo Land, as the weather took a turn for the worse, as we had thunder Snow the other day, but the snow is slowly melting. On the plus side, my caretakers family came into time to celebrate the Easter holiday. I'm sure I'll have magnificent stories to tell you all in a bit.

Rollin'

Clarence

All Around the World

Hello All,

Last weekend I got the wonderful opportunity to see some wonderful new dancing from all around the globe! I can't really describe all of the wonderful costumes and very nice people I got the ability to meet at the Lawrence University Cabaret.

Globally,

Clarence

Wisconsin Weather

Hello All,

This weather has been going bizurk here in Appleton. This past week had a few great days where everyone got to go outside and play frizbee. There was a lot of people laying out and absorbing as much vitamin D as possible before the tornado sirens went off later. Thankfully there wasn't any real danger, but some of the roofing on the top of the theatre building blew off.

My caretaker and I have started looking at our schedules for next year. We are both very excited. We get to get further into our majors. My caretaker is exited for her Theatre-Psychology double major as I am getting exited for my Athletic science major with minors in landscaping and football. Next year I get to start playing in the Gnome league here.

Enthusiastically,

Clarence

My Favorite Moment of The Bee

Hello All,

I had the spectacular opportunity to attend the student produced musical 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It was wonderful. I learned how to spell a plethora of new words and got to listen to some lovely vocalizing. The cast was wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I also had the chance to go to a thrift shoppe across the river. My caretaker found a wonderful character dress to wear eventually. We have no idea when exactly it will be appropriate, but when it is, watch out world. Unfortunately, they did not have anything quite my size, but it was still fun to look around.

Spelling,

Clarence

I Scream for Ice Cream.

Hello All,

I had a magnificent adventure with my caretaker and her friend. We galavanted around Appleton on the other side of the river. It was quite fun. We got to see lots of new shops and stores and even came past a Dairy Queen. It was a nice day, so some ice cream was in order. It was delicious, indeed.

My caretaker and I have been watching lots of great movies recently, as her friends discovered how many movies we have not had the pleasure to experience. So far the list is 127 movies long, and counting. Feel free to comment if you have any great ideas for us!

Adventurously,

Clarence

Gnome Lifeguard on Duty

Hello All,

I had a wonderful time yesterday at the pool! A group of Lawrentians went to the Recreation Center here on campus and had a roaring time in the water. There were people jumping off diving boards, splashing around and having a great time. They even played some old school sharks and minnows (only I knew the proper rules, of course). Unfortunately, I was a smidge under the height requirements for the deep end, but I supervised and made sure no one got hurt.

On a related celebratory note, we also made a delicious cake for Jon's birthday today. We brought it up to him right at midnight and ate it all by 12:15. I for one thought it was magnificent. I do enjoy good cake quite a lot. Hopefully the festivities continue throughout the year, I can always eat more cake.

Deliciously,

Clarence

Wait....It's not spring?

Hello All,

As second week starts up here at Lawrence, I can't help but wonder. What happened to that wonderful weather during spring break? I had a marvelous time out of doors without a coat. I even had a chance to play in the sandbox! Here in Appleton all of the snow remains on the ground, and even though it is sunny, it is still cold. I cannot wait to be able to lounge outside on the grass.

People are getting back into the swing of classes, as am I. I am very exited to be taking Bio 243: Botany of Landscaping. It reminds me of home, and our final project is a construction of a small lawn, which I will gladly stand on for demonstration. My caretaker is also thrilled by her class schedule, as she is finally taking Acting this term. She is extremely excited.

Soon to be Greenly,

Clarence

Ran Fast

Hello All,

Although it has been wonderful to be back at Lawrence, I can't help but miss my wonderful spring break. As it has been snowing here in Appleton for the past few days, and both my caretaker and I left our best winter ware at home.

On another note, I hear the wonderful track girls I met last week did very well at their indoor state meet. The 4x800 even won! I like to think it was because of my extensive assistance at the meet last week, but I'm sure their raw speed helped them also. I will continue to support these wonderful girls through their outdoor season as it begins in this wonderful weather.

Athletically,

Clarence

Swing into Spring

Hello All,

It is wonderful to have a spring break with such wonderful weather. My caretaker and I have been taking full advantage of it, walking the dog and swinging in the backyard. We even got to have grilled pork chops, they were scrumptious.

It is so refreshing to feel the wind against my face and beard outside. I can't wait to meet some new animal friends, I hear the squirrels at Lawrence are very cordial.

Finally Warmly,

Clarence

Run Fast.

Hello All,

Finals have finally finished and I am at home with my caretaker. I even got the wonderful opportunity to go to her sister's track meet yesterday. It was very exciting. Molly won her race, as well as many of the other West runners! I even got the marvelous opportunity to meet lots of them!

The weather is wonderful here in Iowa, much warmer than Wisconsin. I even got a touch of home eating popcorn yesterday at the meet. My caretaker and I cannot wait to visit with all of her friends over the break, as well as seeing her family again.

Running Rapidly,
Clarence

Finals Fun

Hello All,

As you may be well aware of, it is finals week here at LU. There is lots of studying, and even more procrastination being done. Fortunately, I feel well prepared for my Advanced Tailgating final, as I have been practicing my bean bag tossing extensively for the past few weeks.

My caretaker's comrades have taken a liking to watching the Lord of The Rings movies (extended editions) late at night, and enjoying every minute of them. They have also been studying all over campus, as well here in the dorm.

Happy Studies,
Clarence

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but...

Hello All,

It has been an exciting musical weekend here at Lawrence and back at home. I hear my caretaker's mother finally got herself to a Rascal Flatts concert, and thouroughly enjoyed the experience. I, however, had the wonderful oppoortunity to go to the Lawrence Symphony Orchestra concert on Friday night. It was magnificent. They even had a guest hamonican who was incredibly impressive. I had no idea a harmonica could sound so great.

It is now the beginning of tenth week, which means major study time. Finals are fast apporaching, as well as spring break. I am anxious to get back home and release all of this stress in the hot tub.

Musically,
Clarence

Just Breathe

Hello All,

It is so wonderful to know that there is one activity that can never frusterate a gnome. My caretaker recently got a new yoga mat, and I decided to take it for a little spin. It was magnificent. I got into upside-down tree on my first try! My caretaker says it is the greatest excercise, and it also helps her forget about all of the stresses of college.

On another note, my caretaker's computer was at the computer doctor for a few days, which prevented my updates. Fortunately, the problem was nothing dramatic, and I will be able to continue informing you wonderful people of my various ventures.

Flexibly,
Clarence

The Celebration

Hello All,

It has been a crazy week here at Lawrence. My Caretaker's play was this past Friday, and she did splendidly! Her parents were even able to come out to support her, she was very happy to see them. Not only did they get to see her show, but they went out for breakfast and bought some things at Target. I for one was entertained by her new game, her friends and I played it for a bit last night and it was a blast!

My caretaker also had her cast party last night, and although I was unable to attend due to height requirements, she did sneak some food back for me afterwards. It was much appreciated. Nothing says a good time like orange fingers.

Cordially,
Clarence

A Special Birthday Shout Out!

Hello All,

I just wanted to wish my caretaker's Grandfather a Happy 90th Birthday.

Hope the Cake doesn't set the house on fire,
Clarence

Cows and Pidgeons

Hello All,

Well, the weatherman was correct for a change, it has been snowing quite a bit up here. And it was just as the first signs of spring were emerging. Luckily, I found a cozy fireplace in the Campus Center that is perfect for studying. It is now the 8th week of the term, so there is lots of studying to be done around campus.

In addition to the increasing academic schedule, my caretaker's one act performance shows this coming Friday! She is thrilled and exhausted from all fo the rehearsing and is exited to start her final dress rehearsals in the next few days.

Stay Cozy,
Clarence

What Time is it?

Hello All,

As I mentioned before, I attended a real life show choir competition last weekend. It was marvelous. My caretaker was thrilled to see all of her old friends dancing and singing (at the same time). She also got to see her younger sister, guns, which is always fun.

My caretaker also got the oportunity this past Wednesday to go see Wicked at the Performing Arts Center. She did not bring me along, unfortunately, but she has been raving about it ever since. She got to sit so close she popped some bubbles from Glinda's flying bubble. It has been wonderful being able to see so much talent, expecially since we are planning to see the University Opera this weekend as well.

Showtime!
Clarence

Drive Thru

Hello All,

Sorry about not posting last Thursday, I was having a jolly good time with my good friend Gina in the Chicago Area, and, of course, no trip to Illinois would be complete without a trip to Portillos. It was scrumptious.

I spent a great deal of my weekend in vehicles, but I had many great conversations with wonderful people. I traveled through three states yesterday, and must say it was very tiring. My caretaker went to bed three hours earlier than usual to accomidate the thrilling weekend. I will fill everyone in on the wonderful experience I had at a real show choir competition on Thursday.

Relish and Fries,
Clarence

Super Cake

Hello All,

As you very well know, yesterday was the super bowl and, living in Wisconsin, I was surrounded by Packer fans who were thrilled with the game's conclusion. I was particularly exited to see the wonderful spread of delicious food and wonderful friends in BroCo Land.

There were countless funny comercials and a bunch of wonderful films advertised throughout the game, as well as the neon glowing dancers in the half time show, which my caretaker particularly enjoyed.

Fantastic Football Food,
Clarence

Laundry Day

Hello All,

Today was not an extremely productive day, but my caretaker and I got our laundry done. This meant venturing down five flights of stairs with a basket full of clothes, venturing back up to the fifth floor room, down to change over to the dryer, back up and then finally down and up again with clean clothes. Lots and lots of staris.

Everyone has been signing up for next term's classes already (its about midterm right now). I had to get approval into FTBL 365: Advanced Tailgating while my caretaker got approval for her chemistry class. I am very much looking forward to the bag toss construction and burger grilling units.

Cleanly,
Clarence

Happy Birthday!!

Hello All,

I would like to wish my caretaker's father the happiest of birthdays, expecially since he is the one who brought us together. It saddens me that I will not be partaking in graham cracker cake, but I will simply reminisce about my caretaker's wonderful party earlier this year.

On another note, it is snowing like cows and pigeons again. We are under a blizzard warning, but the snow is exeptionally iridescent and fluffy, so it is almost acceptable. However, it makes getting outside that much more of a chore, I have to bundle up to make sure my hat doesn't freeze of.

Happy Birthday Dad!
Clarence

News Flash!

Hello All,

I read an interesting article in The New York Times today, the headline reads 'Caretaker's Life Considered Normal.' Wait...not exactly, but you get the picture. There has been a great increase of studying, homework, and line learning throughout BroCo Land. I have decided to try to combat my current tension with various John William's scores on Pandora. The grandeour of the music helps get me through the dullest readings for HIST 303: Origin of the Gnome.

Fortunately, I already know all the material for ENGL 219: Gnomeo and Juliet, as my great great grandpappy wrote the story centuries ago. I am very much looking forward to seeing his wonderous work of literary brilliance finally hit the big screen next month.

Take it Easy,
Clarence

Royal Ball

Hello All,

This weekend was bitter sweet. Along with the game's result, my caretaker spent much of her time studying for a large Psycology exam today (which seems to have gone well, as she continues to dance merrily around the room). The best part of the weekend was the BroCo Land royal ball.

For those of you unfamiliar with a few of those terms, BroCo Land is the combination of a few dorms on campus that are across the bridge, creating a small community among students. A royal ball is a dance of sorts where people make large ornate crowns and spend time dressing up and having a jolly good time. It was wonderful.

Stay Classy,
Clarence

Oops.

Hello All,

Apparently, it is not advisable to go out of doors in the winter wearing only a hula skirt. I have caught a cold, much like the rest of campus. The entire floor has been bonding over hot chocolate and kleenex all week. Fortunately, this bug is short lived and highly survivable. My hampster friend has been keeping me great company with my sixth season of House, which my caretaker lent me for the ocassion.

There has been lots of bonding throughout campus with the recent drop in tempatures. Many folks found it fun to start a snowball battle a few days ago. Much to my dismay, I was not invited, as my height was an extreme disadvantage to my tackling abilities. My caretaker, however, had a wonderful time.

Tea and Kleenex,
Clarence

Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful

Hello All,

It has been snowing like cows and pigeons here in Appleton, but I have found a way to beat the winter blues! Hula skirts are the answer to all of you're winter woes. There's nothing like a luau to beat the below freezing teperatures. Either that or a nice huge cup of hot cocoa and some college style ramen noodles.

On another note, my wonderful caretaker has recently aquired a role in Anton Chekhov's one act play 'The Celebration'. She is particularly excited because she will finally be playing a role inside her own gender. The show isn't until late Febuary, but I'll be sure to keep all of my friends posted on her progress.

Keep Warm,
Clarence

Greetings!

Hello All,

My name is Clarence the Gnome, but you can call me Clarence. I am currently residing in Appleton, Wisconsin with my lovely caretaker. She is attending Lawrence University, and it is a wonderful place. I hope to tell you all about our adventures through college life together.

Until Next Time,
Clarence