Happy Birthday!!

Hello All,

I would like to wish my caretaker's father the happiest of birthdays, expecially since he is the one who brought us together. It saddens me that I will not be partaking in graham cracker cake, but I will simply reminisce about my caretaker's wonderful party earlier this year.

On another note, it is snowing like cows and pigeons again. We are under a blizzard warning, but the snow is exeptionally iridescent and fluffy, so it is almost acceptable. However, it makes getting outside that much more of a chore, I have to bundle up to make sure my hat doesn't freeze of.

Happy Birthday Dad!
Clarence

News Flash!

Hello All,

I read an interesting article in The New York Times today, the headline reads 'Caretaker's Life Considered Normal.' Wait...not exactly, but you get the picture. There has been a great increase of studying, homework, and line learning throughout BroCo Land. I have decided to try to combat my current tension with various John William's scores on Pandora. The grandeour of the music helps get me through the dullest readings for HIST 303: Origin of the Gnome.

Fortunately, I already know all the material for ENGL 219: Gnomeo and Juliet, as my great great grandpappy wrote the story centuries ago. I am very much looking forward to seeing his wonderous work of literary brilliance finally hit the big screen next month.

Take it Easy,
Clarence

Royal Ball

Hello All,

This weekend was bitter sweet. Along with the game's result, my caretaker spent much of her time studying for a large Psycology exam today (which seems to have gone well, as she continues to dance merrily around the room). The best part of the weekend was the BroCo Land royal ball.

For those of you unfamiliar with a few of those terms, BroCo Land is the combination of a few dorms on campus that are across the bridge, creating a small community among students. A royal ball is a dance of sorts where people make large ornate crowns and spend time dressing up and having a jolly good time. It was wonderful.

Stay Classy,
Clarence

Oops.

Hello All,

Apparently, it is not advisable to go out of doors in the winter wearing only a hula skirt. I have caught a cold, much like the rest of campus. The entire floor has been bonding over hot chocolate and kleenex all week. Fortunately, this bug is short lived and highly survivable. My hampster friend has been keeping me great company with my sixth season of House, which my caretaker lent me for the ocassion.

There has been lots of bonding throughout campus with the recent drop in tempatures. Many folks found it fun to start a snowball battle a few days ago. Much to my dismay, I was not invited, as my height was an extreme disadvantage to my tackling abilities. My caretaker, however, had a wonderful time.

Tea and Kleenex,
Clarence

Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful

Hello All,

It has been snowing like cows and pigeons here in Appleton, but I have found a way to beat the winter blues! Hula skirts are the answer to all of you're winter woes. There's nothing like a luau to beat the below freezing teperatures. Either that or a nice huge cup of hot cocoa and some college style ramen noodles.

On another note, my wonderful caretaker has recently aquired a role in Anton Chekhov's one act play 'The Celebration'. She is particularly excited because she will finally be playing a role inside her own gender. The show isn't until late Febuary, but I'll be sure to keep all of my friends posted on her progress.

Keep Warm,
Clarence

Greetings!

Hello All,

My name is Clarence the Gnome, but you can call me Clarence. I am currently residing in Appleton, Wisconsin with my lovely caretaker. She is attending Lawrence University, and it is a wonderful place. I hope to tell you all about our adventures through college life together.

Until Next Time,
Clarence